priorities

if one has to skimp on a wedding - what does one skimp on?

obviously not liquor.

beachy no-no

so while i was away i happened upon a wedding taking place on the beach. i'm sure, in the future, this couple will see either the humor in what happened, if not the error of their ways. first of all the beach was not private. i'm sure one could get a more secluded spot. but the beachfront of the crowne plaza resort just ain't it. not only was there a host of half naked gawkers (report on swimsuits: "ladies" are wearing them ill-fitting and ill-advised), but a dredge (oysters?) sailed by as well as a coast guard helicopter flying very low (shark patrol, seriously) and another small plane all invading within the space of the 10 minute ceremony.

at least they checked the tides so there was no matrimonial flooding.

IMPORTANT POST - Please respond

I have put ms. zuroski in charge of a karaoke playlist. I have already found a dj that has karaoke.

I'm in need of a list of songs that the ladies want so I can check if the dj has them - otherwsie ms. zuroski needs to find disks that have said songs so they can be purchased. (But we'd like to keep disk purchases to a minimum) - I know ms. zuroski loves joan jett and some christina agullera (sp?) - perhaps some backstreet boys or JT?

I need "mama said knock you out" and mariana obviously needs "careless whisper" - do we have any other pressing requests - because you're all singing - oh yes you are.

scattered showers

I think bridal showers suck. I've never had any interest EXCEPT now that simon is the maid of honor, he'd have to arrange it - a nice little lingerie shower.

I'm taking a poll - which would people rather do, no shower at all because they're annoying - or have one just so we can watch simon stressed about hosting and buying me a panty set?

the trashy bride

How trashed can the bride get at her wedding? And if she were to get trashed, at what point in the evening can that happen?

Gown Shopping: Day 1

Well, the bride-to-be (hereafter b2b) and I ventured to Newbury St. Friday and saw some really suprisingly VERY BAD DRESSES. But there were some high points of the day:
1. We blundered upon a tiny third-floor boutique devoted bridesmaids dresses in a variety of cool minimalist cuts (though mostly strapless to b2b's chagrin). Possibly worth a future appointment with any bridesmaids visiting MA.
2. Excellent italian lunch of bolognese, a prosciutto panino and two good wines marked "il bastardo".
3. Sadly, NO weddingware at Louis but I love that place.
4. Fascinating gown clearance sale at Filenes (going out of business to become Macy's).
b2b TRIED ON for the first time: a minimal light-mocha (this year's 'hot' color?) drapey sequined strapless that cost an amazingly paltry $300. [It was suggested that b2b buy it and either pocket the savings for first-class honeymoon or put it in the closet for future evening-ware opportunity).

As a first attempt to suvey the dress territory this was a modestly dissapointing foray but as a Ladies day-on-the-town and a subtle softening of the shock of the b2b looking herself in the mirror in a dress, a bonafide success!

cha-ching

so how much do things actually cost for a wedding? how much is a dj, flowers, invites...all that stuff -

and you know those crappy wedding favors? can ANYONE come up with something that isn't horrible?

you're so vain

I particularly want to ask this question to my sister Roberta who is one of the least vain people I know.

How much can I use this wedding as justification to do personal maintanance I've always wanted?

I'm planning on going on the wedding diet. This seems perfectly reasonable since everyone wants to look their best in their dress. But is it acceptable to get a personal trainer on top of that to meet me 2-3x a week to keep me on track? The trainer is a friend of john's that will likely give us a deal but what do y'all think?

What about getting a facial once a month for the three months before the wedding?

But the one I want to know most is whether it's acceptable for me to get my teeth whitened and/or fixing two teeth that braces were unable to conquer? I mean one needs to look at these photos for the rest of his/her life. I really don't want my teeth to clash with the dress.

is it too much? this seems the one time in my life I can justify this stuff - but am I overrationalizing so I can get pampered?

white wedding?

so ms. fledman and I are beginning the dress search in boston this friday. now I'm wondering what to look for in a dress and what is the amount I can expect to spend on a nice, not tacky, non-super shiny dress.

ladies feel free to do some research on dresses and send pics to me on my email - I can print them and bring them along.

concepts?

Wedding Documentation

I'm not sure if it is absolutely mandatory these days but I am somewhat against the wedding video. Every one I have seen has the semi-tacky feeling of pseudo-high-post-production-imac software. If possible it might be cooler to spring for an extra photographer instead to get some excellent cameo material. I alse really LOVE B & W wedding photography. Nancy, you know that pic (is it your grandparents' wedding) you had on the wall at a John St? White double-breasted dinner jacket and cigarettes? Now THAT is classy. It's like a still from Casablanca.
The idea is to make the photos as timeless as possible.
Keep this in mind for wedding fashion choices too. The goal: 20 years later it should not be completely obvious what decade the wedding happened in.

wedding crashing

i would like to alert the blog collaborators that i will be crashing a wedding tonight. johnny from louis alerted me that his nephew is getting married and would i like to go. i live for shit like this.

apparently the nephew already has 2 children, but that did not keep him from having a reception at what appears to one of southern new england s premier wedding venues. the venus de milo. and i mean it. the kitsch value reaches alarming proportions in terms of the classical-italianate vibe, but as we all know, that's ok. it s a wedding. there s liquor. no one will take it seriously.

this leads me to two questions--what is the etiquette on crashing a wedding? johnny invited me so i feel that it is not really crashing and i don t know and will never see the actual guests, so it s fair game, right? moreover, i can pass this off as research for the buffalo wedding. i believe i am his date.

the other question is--is it true that everyone hooks up at weddings? does anyone have any info on that? is it something exclusive of weddings or is it just because it is a big party with alcohol?

Band- it

So my friend sarah - who should defintiely join the blog due to her wedding wisdom (she's been in something like 15 weddings and attended another zillion) - informs me that the key to a good wedding is the band - you must have a band, no dj.

First I'd like for her to elaborate on why.

my issue is this - there will assuredly be karaoke. no question. However, due to the semi-reasonalbe size of my wedding, the hotel that the reception is at will allow me to put dancing and karaoke on anthoer level (hence the ladies can spend the night there getting trashed without the peering eyes of real adults).

but for the rehersal itself I can see why the band is key - the blue hairs like it. and you have to do that dance with the husband (damn I need to learn how to dance?) - and one needs music upstairs for that.

both? is it just too much? and what kind of band would I get? jazz or something?

I want...

So I want to know the protocol about registering for gifts. Does one put on the list expensive dream gifts like a $300 juicer? Is it ok to use a couple really high end expensive places if you also use some more accessible places as well?

And I think one needs to have some inexpensive stuff for those without tons of cash, but how expensive can your stuff be at the upper level? Are there things that are inappropriate to choose - can you have things like exercise equipment or simply stuff for your kitchen?

what's good about a wedding

this is the greatest source of procrastination EVER.

where the boys go with girls and girls with the boys

So how weird is a gender-bending thing in the wedding?

I mean friendo is the maid of honor and whatever - but would it be pushing it WAY too far to have female ushers on top of that? Is it just too post-feminist - is it just too much for the overly traditional Orchard Park - the home of my parents? Is it trying WAY too hard? What would they wear anyway? Suits on the ladies would cause the people of OP to pass out. - The whole thing would get too gay for any of them to deal with - My parents already said that maybe I should reconsider the friendo thing since "people will think he's gay" - I responded - "Yeah - everyone already does so no big deal." - they got uncomfortable.

And I think the ring bearer thing is stupid - anyone?

do they really have to come?

What are the outer limits of the invitees?

Since I'm not eloping and my parents are going to invite a lot of people - who can I ax and who is obligatory?

Do I have to invite my college roommate I lost touch with even though I was invited to her wedding?

Do I have to invite people I'm not necessarily fond of if he/she is a good friend of my friends?

Do I have to agree to invite friends of the groom that I don't like?

Do I have to let my parents invite whomever they want?

going old school

so i was talking to my v. catholic sister and told her about the wedding. how catholic are you going with this thing? she tells me there are lengthy negotiations about all sorts of stuff if it's actually in a catholic church. annulments, pre-cana classes, indulgences (or whatever they call it these days when you need to pay that little extra so you can wear a dress with your shoulders exposed).

Wedding Expo!

http://originalweddingexpo.com looks fascinating. We must go to this! It comes to Worcester January 6 and 7, 2007. Is that way too late, NKB? Otherwise, there is also an event in Sturbridge September 24. If I can get away from family Rosh Hashana early that would be great. This will make a great innaugural planning outing.

I rolled in leaves before my wedding

alright - this is not appropriate - it's not even hair. I'm against these crazy "up-dos" that involve these annoying "wedding tendrils" aka wisps everywhere - and I hate these curls that take over the entire head. It looks like a head exploding.

What kind of hair do we like for a wedding? I'm thinking a simple bun without any of those weird curls.

gentlemaid of honor

so I'm interested in hearing what the duties are for the maid of honor - as ms. feldman is occupying this role I'd like to tortue him as much as I'm allowed.

I've never had ANY interest in a bachleorette party but now that simon has to plan it I'm desperate for it - I want him to have to arrange a lingerie party and buy me a panty set. so absurd.

I am going to decree that the maid of honor must post something AT LEAST every 48 hours.

those that know something about weddings please tell me the absolute LIMITS of what I can require ms. feldman to do for me.

i do, but i don't

usually wedding stuff doesn't really cross my radar, but i saw the author of this book on a talk show (prior to the vp's announcement) and it's stuck with me. the woman seemed like a lady. and writing and publishing a book about your own wedding adventures seems like something. she was appalled by her own engagement ring and not afraid to say so. this impressed me.

blogging the wedding

upon the request of the vp, i have created a 'safe space' so that she may address, consult and moan about 'the wedding.'

i currently have no comments or assessments to make, since 'the wedding' is still in its nascent stages and i am still unwed, and hence, unable to relate or offer any sort of practical advice.

i would just like to confirm, not that this was an issue, that the reception WILL feature an open bar.

despite the fact i would be insulted otherwise (and i believe i speak for everyone), i salute this decision.