where the boys go with girls and girls with the boys
So how weird is a gender-bending thing in the wedding?
I mean friendo is the maid of honor and whatever - but would it be pushing it WAY too far to have female ushers on top of that? Is it just too post-feminist - is it just too much for the overly traditional Orchard Park - the home of my parents? Is it trying WAY too hard? What would they wear anyway? Suits on the ladies would cause the people of OP to pass out. - The whole thing would get too gay for any of them to deal with - My parents already said that maybe I should reconsider the friendo thing since "people will think he's gay" - I responded - "Yeah - everyone already does so no big deal." - they got uncomfortable.
And I think the ring bearer thing is stupid - anyone?
I mean friendo is the maid of honor and whatever - but would it be pushing it WAY too far to have female ushers on top of that? Is it just too post-feminist - is it just too much for the overly traditional Orchard Park - the home of my parents? Is it trying WAY too hard? What would they wear anyway? Suits on the ladies would cause the people of OP to pass out. - The whole thing would get too gay for any of them to deal with - My parents already said that maybe I should reconsider the friendo thing since "people will think he's gay" - I responded - "Yeah - everyone already does so no big deal." - they got uncomfortable.
And I think the ring bearer thing is stupid - anyone?
posted by vp @ 8:13 AM
6 Comments:
At 8:32 AM,
ms. AB said…
bride's honor attendants should be her besties and grooms should be his, regardless of gender. this is actually how it's always been, they just get split up by gender at the altar (if you had a brother, he'd traditionally stand behind the groom and not the bride).
the ushers however, have a distinct role for the "audience" so to speak. they walk down the aisle and seat the oldies. the very ladies who expect a gentleman on the arm. so the gentlemen of the wedding party, regardless of whom they are standing up for could do the actual ushering.
At 11:29 AM,
me said…
as long as no dogs or obnoxious children are involved it should be fine.
At 12:54 PM,
Simon said…
I'm so glad that some of these questions have straighforward correct answers (i.e. what do ushers DO, ect.) and that we have an expert on hand to answer them!
You are all spared my ignorant speculations for a change.
At 4:14 PM,
ms. AB said…
it's good to know i can sound authoritative (esp. considering the lack of preparation i've been taking into the classroom). i wonder if there is a real answer. am at my sister's right now and i know she has an emily post wedding guide here somewhere.
At 4:27 PM,
ms. AB said…
from "mis manners, on painfully proper weddings"
dear miss manners, i am to be involved in a wedding in which two of my dearest friends will marry each other. in lieu of a best man, the groom has asked me, a female, to act as "best person." this is an honor and i am touched as well as proud of my friend's openmindedness.
it has come to my atention that some of the other women in the bridal party are apprehensive in regard to my role in the wedding, a formal church ceremony. i wish to be sensitive to the feelings of those who may be uncomfortable with this break with tradition, as well as being correct in my behavior.
gentle reader, it troubles miss manners to think what those bridesmaids might be apprehensive about. do they imagine that one of them will have to dance with you at the reception? do they think of the recessionals as a parade of pseudo-romantic couples? all this would be silly. traditionally, the bridegroom is attended by his best friend, friendship being the chief factor, not gender. of course you will dress as a lady and dance with gentlemen. you will not offer any lady your arm, but merely march at the maid of honor's side as paired bridesmaids do in a processional. but if the bride's honor attendant is a gentleman, he may offer you his arm.
At 5:00 PM,
vp said…
john and I just got the original "etiquette" book by emily post - I need to get this wedding book.
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